Pizza

A few weeks ago we spent the better part of an afternoon having a conversation about pizza. I was going to turn the texts into a narrative for this blog post, but I feel like you'll appreciate it more if i just give you a copy of the conversation.

klew is bold, hoven is italic 

HOW IS IT ONLY 11??!?!?

12:17 ya bish. Not feeling no meat Fridays, Lent.

Me either. Except I just spent an hour researching legit pizza in KC and I found a really good one that happens to be close to my office so i'm gonna try it for lunch. They said "we know it's all about the crust" so I said yes. 

For those keeping score, the Pizza Place was Santora's Pizza. It's four seconds from my office. Also everyone knows the thing that makes NYC Pizza so much better than anywhere else is the crust (it's the water they have there. It makes bomb ass crust. When combined with bomb ass sauce and bomb ass cheese....boombah.) Santora's pizza may KNOW it's all about the crust, that doesn't mean they executed. 

Hmmmmmm. Maybe I'll have Bella Pizza for din.

H8 U.

You like, don't tho. 

Right

*Screenshot of Hoven's mom telling her they're having fish for dinner* Come on Janet. 

That's the worst

Fish are the bugs of the sea and I do not want to ingest them. Ever. 

^ This is an agreed upon notion by both of us. Probably look for a future post about this. 

I just got 2 plain slices and a drink for 3 bucks. 

WHAT

Ya but it's good not great. 

Also I thank god daily you understand it's a slice

Yeah f*** everyone who wants a "piece of cheese."

*sparkle heart emoji* *dancing twins emoji* *sparkle heart emoji*

If the wheel was this pizza I'm eating right now I would be 9 million lbs. I'm a pizza snob, and drunk klew is also a pizza snob...but I think this slice could fool drunk klew. 

Wow. Powerful stuff.

Ya but sober its meh. Also Wheel pizza sober is a desperate times call for desperate measures type thing. (Aka I just bartended for 80 hours and hate all people including myself)

Preach. Also everyone stop putting ranch everywhere you heathens. 

THANK YOU OMG. "Ugh I can't eat this I don't have honey" Nope. Join America you (insert creative insult because I used the F word)

The honey I cannot even think of because it's straight up the most sacrilegious thing I've ever witnessed and I refer to the Pope as Frankie.

Pizza: Don't toy with perfection (I wish it wasn't lent)

Currently yelling at all Kansas Pizza Eaters. "No I don't like Tads." WHO ARE YOU? "Let's get pizza shuttle!" I HATE YOU.

Tad's isn't Rita's tho so bye

WTF Is Rita's is it in Kansas becasue if it It's delicious and I haven't heard of it imma be pissed.

It's not but it's the principle of the matter. Do it right or don't do it at all.

Ya like never Domino's if you're east of the Mississippi. Ever. Also i had a person tell me once their favorite pizza was "Chuck E Cheese pizza." If I was a cat I would have lost one of my 9 lives at that. 

Generally if it's big enough to have commercials and it's pizza I am disinterested.

If you EVER go to NYC and the only slice you consume is from SBARRO? We are no longer friends. Similar: Papa John's, Pizza Hut, Domino's, Chuck-E-Cheese. WTF people. Come on. 

I would agree with that. Also I think unless you're a New Jerseyan who eats pizza multiple times a week why are you wasting your good pizza opportunity on some buffalo chicken pizza bullshit. CHEESE. PEP. MUSHROOM MAYBE. STAY CLASSIC PEOPLE.

Have had a lot of arguments with the twins about that. THOUGH GIMME ALL THE VODKA SAUCE ZA IN THE WORLD

But see, you're a New Jerseyan. I bring people to the greatest pizza in the world for a once in a lifetime chance and they're like "can I have feta cheese?" No. You can't. STFU.

SECONDED.