"If you want to be happy, be."
365 Lovely Thoughts: #88
"We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses."
-Abraham Lincoln
365 Lovely Thoughts: #86
"How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and that there will never be a time when it is not now."
-GERALD JAMPOLSKY
Pizza
A few weeks ago we spent the better part of an afternoon having a conversation about pizza. I was going to turn the texts into a narrative for this blog post, but I feel like you'll appreciate it more if i just give you a copy of the conversation.
klew is bold, hoven is italic
HOW IS IT ONLY 11??!?!?
Me either. Except I just spent an hour researching legit pizza in KC and I found a really good one that happens to be close to my office so i'm gonna try it for lunch. They said "we know it's all about the crust" so I said yes.
H8 U.
Right
That's the worst
I just got 2 plain slices and a drink for 3 bucks.
Ya but it's good not great.
Yeah f*** everyone who wants a "piece of cheese."
If the wheel was this pizza I'm eating right now I would be 9 million lbs. I'm a pizza snob, and drunk klew is also a pizza snob...but I think this slice could fool drunk klew.
Ya but sober its meh. Also Wheel pizza sober is a desperate times call for desperate measures type thing. (Aka I just bartended for 80 hours and hate all people including myself)
THANK YOU OMG. "Ugh I can't eat this I don't have honey" Nope. Join America you (insert creative insult because I used the F word)
Currently yelling at all Kansas Pizza Eaters. "No I don't like Tads." WHO ARE YOU? "Let's get pizza shuttle!" I HATE YOU.
WTF Is Rita's is it in Kansas becasue if it It's delicious and I haven't heard of it imma be pissed.
Ya like never Domino's if you're east of the Mississippi. Ever. Also i had a person tell me once their favorite pizza was "Chuck E Cheese pizza." If I was a cat I would have lost one of my 9 lives at that.
I would agree with that. Also I think unless you're a New Jerseyan who eats pizza multiple times a week why are you wasting your good pizza opportunity on some buffalo chicken pizza bullshit. CHEESE. PEP. MUSHROOM MAYBE. STAY CLASSIC PEOPLE.
But see, you're a New Jerseyan. I bring people to the greatest pizza in the world for a once in a lifetime chance and they're like "can I have feta cheese?" No. You can't. STFU.
klew is bold, hoven is italic
HOW IS IT ONLY 11??!?!?
12:17 ya bish. Not feeling no meat Fridays, Lent.
For those keeping score, the Pizza Place was Santora's Pizza. It's four seconds from my office. Also everyone knows the thing that makes NYC Pizza so much better than anywhere else is the crust (it's the water they have there. It makes bomb ass crust. When combined with bomb ass sauce and bomb ass cheese....boombah.) Santora's pizza may KNOW it's all about the crust, that doesn't mean they executed.
Hmmmmmm. Maybe I'll have Bella Pizza for din.
You like, don't tho.
*Screenshot of Hoven's mom telling her they're having fish for dinner* Come on Janet.
Fish are the bugs of the sea and I do not want to ingest them. Ever.
^ This is an agreed upon notion by both of us. Probably look for a future post about this.
WHAT
Also I thank god daily you understand it's a slice
*sparkle heart emoji* *dancing twins emoji* *sparkle heart emoji*
Wow. Powerful stuff.
Preach. Also everyone stop putting ranch everywhere you heathens.
The honey I cannot even think of because it's straight up the most sacrilegious thing I've ever witnessed and I refer to the Pope as Frankie.
Pizza: Don't toy with perfection (I wish it wasn't lent)
Tad's isn't Rita's tho so bye
It's not but it's the principle of the matter. Do it right or don't do it at all.
Generally if it's big enough to have commercials and it's pizza I am disinterested.
If you EVER go to NYC and the only slice you consume is from SBARRO? We are no longer friends. Similar: Papa John's, Pizza Hut, Domino's, Chuck-E-Cheese. WTF people. Come on.
Have had a lot of arguments with the twins about that. THOUGH GIMME ALL THE VODKA SAUCE ZA IN THE WORLD
SECONDED.
WHEN IN DOUBT CHOOSE THE CATHOLICS
As inspired by Klew's previous post, and even before that from the essay text she sent explaining her reasoning behind every bracket pick. Laughed so hard I snorted. Side eye from my boss was worth it.
SO, I do not have Klew's winning streak in NCAA bracket pools. I have lost every single pool I have ever been involved in. But I am not daunted. One day my genius will be recognized.
Also can I say the ESPN bracket system is the worst? Why is it taking me eleven pages to reach my bracket? Am I dumb? No, I already told you, unrecognized genius.
LET US PROCEED.
SOUTH
(1) Florida over (16) Albany because I was born in Jacksonville, and always been a Gators fan over the Seminoles (especially for you, Timmy). Also. Albany not even close to my favorite part of NY soooo not enough to pull me from the Gators. Even though orange and blue is borderline unforgivable. Florida will go on to beat Pitt and VCU because sure.
(9) Pittsburgh over (8) Colorado because East Coast over everything, guys. Also had a cool friend from high school who was a really good basketball player go to Pitt, and I like when my people are happy. Even if he fails to give Kansas the love it so obviously deserves. Also, Colorado, you're the dumbest for leaving the Big XII so bye forever, Buffs. Pittsburgh will go on to lose to Florida, with dignity.
(5) VCU over (12) SF Austin because their coach reminds me of Tupac. I really have no other explanation, but I don't mess with Tupac. Didn't like their bizarre runs in the past, so congrats on losing to Florida because I don't want to play you.
(4) UCLA over (13) Tulsa, because I respect traditions, and also a former high school crush went there. Should probably invest less in high school connections, as I am 22 and also hated high school. But no love for Oklahoma, really, because it was a boring state to drive through. Loses to VCU and goes home to tan in LA.
(6) Ohio State over (11) Dayton. Please listen to Klew and me, OHIO IS THE WORST. So to choose, I chose the version of Ohio I hate more. The longer Ohio State stays in, the longer I get to hate them mercilessly which brings me irrational glee. And no, I will not use the "The", Ohio State, so grab your buckeyes and get out. Ohio State knocks out Syracuse so I can continue to loathe.
(3) Syracuse over (14) W. Michigan. Tradition and East Coast. Boom. Though I haven't forgiven them for past KU woes, so don't expect them to stick around. #neverforget
(10) Stanford over (7) New Mexico. Pledge granddaughter's dad teaches at Stanford Law. He's also a Jayhawk. Easy.
(2) Kansas over (15) W. Kentucky. LISTEN. You just don't mess with the best. I had teachers in New Jersey write Rock Chalk on my tests. I gave my "informational speech" in sixth grade on KU and ended it teaching my classmates the Rock Chalk chant. Cool boys in high school (not stopping) spoke to me exclusively because of my Jayhawk shirts during the tourney. I've been betrothed to a different hawk every season (I am not over Tyrel Reed being married yet.) Third generation Jayhawk. Keep on keeping on. See ya at the ship.
EAST
(1) Virginia over (16) Costal Carolina. Edgar Allan Poe went to UVA, and it's also the prettiest ever. Charlottesville is real cool. My bosses's son goes there, and he's also cool. In it to win it for a while, go Cavs.
(9) George Washington over (8) Memphis. If you think for ONE MINUTE I've forgotten the thuggery of Memphis YOU DON'T KNOW ME. Forever be gone. This is your gain, George Washington. Enjoy losing to UVA.
(5) Cincy over (12) Harvard because I want Harvard to win but I once read an article about a Harvard player having to run suicides because he couldn't spell/define some archaic nonsense. Into archaic nonsense. Not on a basketball court. Play ball, Cincy (you lose to Michigan State so sucks to suck).
(4) Michigan State over (13) Delaware. So many people from my high school went to UDel and no one could ever make a Blue Hen sound serious. Also Tom Izzo looks like a grizzled Jon Bon Jovi so let's hear it for Jersey connections (things that make sense in my brain but look weird in written words).
(6) UNC over (11) Providence. My go to rule is when in doubt, choose the Catholics, but UNC can enjoy its KU foundation for a bit longer. Small factor: had a real love/hate relationship with Tyler Hansborough when I was younger in that I LOATHED HIM but also probably would have dated him. Also Roy's health seriously suffers when UNC underperforms, and that bums me out. So go ahead, Carolina blue is the worst color though, ignore Klew. They lose to Iowa State.
(3) Iowa State over (14) North Carolina Central. And why do they lose to Iowa State? Because I want little Iowa State hope to grow and be UTTERLY CRUSHED BY TOM IZZO/JON BON JOVI. Don't even like the Spartans. That's how irritated I am with Iowa State. YOUR CYCLONE WARNING CHEER IS IRRESPONSIBLE.
Rest of east doesn't matter, except once I was stuck in Milwaukee's airport and everything and everyone was truly awful and the only element of comfort was a poster about cheese curds. Couldn't even find the cheese curds. You're nothing to me, Milwaukee.
WEST
(1) Arizona over (16) Weber State, because you always give us trouble. I respect that. They will lose to Oklahoma though.
(8) Gonzaga over (9) Oklahoma State. Zags, because Catholic. SUP JESUITS. (I think they are Jesuits, there will be factions of my family mad I do not know this for sure. Pretty sure.) ALSO, NO HAPPINESS FOR YOU MARCUS SMART. NONE. Flipper swims in a river of his own tears back to Oklahoma.
(6) Baylor over (11) Nebraska because if you leave the Big XII you are dead to me. But Baylor loses to Creighton on the double offense of their awful highlighter uniforms, and Catholics beat Baptists. Sorry to see a bear mascot go, though.
(2) Wisconsin over (15) American. Wisconsin goes pretty far, because Badgers are cool I guess, if you're a Hufflepuff. But my craziest neighbors of all time were Wisconsin fans, so taste defeat and LIKE IT. That's for feeding the deer, YA LOON.
(3) Creighton over (14) Louisiana Lafayette. Creighton is in my Final Four because both Catholic and witty. Remember those That Shit Creigh, Ain't It Jay student section shirts? GENIUS. Also one of my all time favorite sorority sisters has family ties, so I'm down. Even though it would be cool to relive '88, Creighton beats Oklahoma. See ya, Sooners. Welcome to the Final Four, Creighton.
(7) Oregon over (10) BYU. DUCKS FLY TOGETHER.
MIDWEST
(1) Wichita State over (16) Cal Poly. Didn't even know Wichita State existed when I came to Kansas. It's a whole new world. So, do what ya gotta do, Kansans, I guess. Also, sup to Wiggins' brother.
(9) K State over (9) Kentucky. How to choose between two evils? KState is purple (WORST) and Octogon of Doom sounds like a lame WWE special I would skip past every single time on TV. But Calipari strikes me as the absolute slimiest of specimens, and thus no happiness for Kentucky. Guess I like when the Big XII has some success too, but at WHAT COST, KSTATE. WHAT COST.
(5) SLU over (12) North Carolina State. Catholics PLUS a billiken (sp?? does anyone really know?) looks like a Dr. Seuss character. Wait, is it a Dr. Seuss character? Also my dad is from St. Louis so that's cool. General disdain for universities with "state" in their names- no explanation, no excuse.
(4) Louisville (4) over Manhattan (13). Because even though I love the city, I'm not an idiot. Also people don't get jazzed about college athletics out here like they do pretty much anywhere else in the continental United States. Should've seen the local news coverage of it- just a blink. But listening to the apparent 15 variations on how to say Louisville gets old real fast, so they won't be sticking around long haul.
(11) Tennessee over (6) Massachusetts. Gonna be real honest, I'm finishing this post at work and I can't tell you who I picked. Maybe the vols because my little brother wanted to go there when he was younger? Maybe Massachusetts because I wish I was from Boston/a Kennedy? Irrelevant, they lose to Duke either way.
(3) Duke over (14) Mercer. Here is my deep dark secret- I love Duke. I fell in love with JJ Redick in middle school and never looked back. My family is disgusted. My Kansas friends DON'T EVEN KNOW. But here we are. I love Duke. Did you know the Duke family lived in Jersey and wanted to rename Princeton after the family, but Princeton was like "uh gonna go with no", so the Dukes basically rebuilt Princeton in North Carolina? Ballsy. Duke Farms still exists up here. I love Coach K, I can't spell his name. I love Jay Bilas. I love the Blue Devils. Welcome to my Final Four, I'll look fondly at your tears when you lose to my hawks.
(10) ASU over (7) Texas. Almost went to Texas, but instead the worst human in my graduating class did. My high school pettiness is to your gain, ASU.
(2) Michigan over (15) Wofford. The Arctic Monkeys had an early EP that was called "Who the F*** Are Arctic Monkeys?" that's what I think about when I hear the name Wofford. Also, #grateful Wofford isn't on my resume, because jokes galore, right? Right? Tons of great people I know went to Michigan, including my super cool English department mentor who plays in an all girl Irish rock band, who also spells Kathryn the right way. So welcome to the Elite Eight Michigan!
Upon finishing this, I already know Ohio State is out. Bracket busted. You should all know Klew has been taunting me with screenshots of the score, so, that's nice.
FINAL FOUR: Kansas Jayhawks, Creighton Jays, Michigan State Spartans, Duke Blue Devils.
KU vs Duke, endless parades culminating in my wedding to Wayne Selden. See ya'll there.
KATH OUT.
SO, I do not have Klew's winning streak in NCAA bracket pools. I have lost every single pool I have ever been involved in. But I am not daunted. One day my genius will be recognized.
Also can I say the ESPN bracket system is the worst? Why is it taking me eleven pages to reach my bracket? Am I dumb? No, I already told you, unrecognized genius.
LET US PROCEED.
SOUTH
(1) Florida over (16) Albany because I was born in Jacksonville, and always been a Gators fan over the Seminoles (especially for you, Timmy). Also. Albany not even close to my favorite part of NY soooo not enough to pull me from the Gators. Even though orange and blue is borderline unforgivable. Florida will go on to beat Pitt and VCU because sure.
(9) Pittsburgh over (8) Colorado because East Coast over everything, guys. Also had a cool friend from high school who was a really good basketball player go to Pitt, and I like when my people are happy. Even if he fails to give Kansas the love it so obviously deserves. Also, Colorado, you're the dumbest for leaving the Big XII so bye forever, Buffs. Pittsburgh will go on to lose to Florida, with dignity.
(5) VCU over (12) SF Austin because their coach reminds me of Tupac. I really have no other explanation, but I don't mess with Tupac. Didn't like their bizarre runs in the past, so congrats on losing to Florida because I don't want to play you.
(4) UCLA over (13) Tulsa, because I respect traditions, and also a former high school crush went there. Should probably invest less in high school connections, as I am 22 and also hated high school. But no love for Oklahoma, really, because it was a boring state to drive through. Loses to VCU and goes home to tan in LA.
(6) Ohio State over (11) Dayton. Please listen to Klew and me, OHIO IS THE WORST. So to choose, I chose the version of Ohio I hate more. The longer Ohio State stays in, the longer I get to hate them mercilessly which brings me irrational glee. And no, I will not use the "The", Ohio State, so grab your buckeyes and get out. Ohio State knocks out Syracuse so I can continue to loathe.
(3) Syracuse over (14) W. Michigan. Tradition and East Coast. Boom. Though I haven't forgiven them for past KU woes, so don't expect them to stick around. #neverforget
(10) Stanford over (7) New Mexico. Pledge granddaughter's dad teaches at Stanford Law. He's also a Jayhawk. Easy.
(2) Kansas over (15) W. Kentucky. LISTEN. You just don't mess with the best. I had teachers in New Jersey write Rock Chalk on my tests. I gave my "informational speech" in sixth grade on KU and ended it teaching my classmates the Rock Chalk chant. Cool boys in high school (not stopping) spoke to me exclusively because of my Jayhawk shirts during the tourney. I've been betrothed to a different hawk every season (I am not over Tyrel Reed being married yet.) Third generation Jayhawk. Keep on keeping on. See ya at the ship.
EAST
(1) Virginia over (16) Costal Carolina. Edgar Allan Poe went to UVA, and it's also the prettiest ever. Charlottesville is real cool. My bosses's son goes there, and he's also cool. In it to win it for a while, go Cavs.
(9) George Washington over (8) Memphis. If you think for ONE MINUTE I've forgotten the thuggery of Memphis YOU DON'T KNOW ME. Forever be gone. This is your gain, George Washington. Enjoy losing to UVA.
(5) Cincy over (12) Harvard because I want Harvard to win but I once read an article about a Harvard player having to run suicides because he couldn't spell/define some archaic nonsense. Into archaic nonsense. Not on a basketball court. Play ball, Cincy (you lose to Michigan State so sucks to suck).
(4) Michigan State over (13) Delaware. So many people from my high school went to UDel and no one could ever make a Blue Hen sound serious. Also Tom Izzo looks like a grizzled Jon Bon Jovi so let's hear it for Jersey connections (things that make sense in my brain but look weird in written words).
(6) UNC over (11) Providence. My go to rule is when in doubt, choose the Catholics, but UNC can enjoy its KU foundation for a bit longer. Small factor: had a real love/hate relationship with Tyler Hansborough when I was younger in that I LOATHED HIM but also probably would have dated him. Also Roy's health seriously suffers when UNC underperforms, and that bums me out. So go ahead, Carolina blue is the worst color though, ignore Klew. They lose to Iowa State.
(3) Iowa State over (14) North Carolina Central. And why do they lose to Iowa State? Because I want little Iowa State hope to grow and be UTTERLY CRUSHED BY TOM IZZO/JON BON JOVI. Don't even like the Spartans. That's how irritated I am with Iowa State. YOUR CYCLONE WARNING CHEER IS IRRESPONSIBLE.
Rest of east doesn't matter, except once I was stuck in Milwaukee's airport and everything and everyone was truly awful and the only element of comfort was a poster about cheese curds. Couldn't even find the cheese curds. You're nothing to me, Milwaukee.
WEST
(1) Arizona over (16) Weber State, because you always give us trouble. I respect that. They will lose to Oklahoma though.
(8) Gonzaga over (9) Oklahoma State. Zags, because Catholic. SUP JESUITS. (I think they are Jesuits, there will be factions of my family mad I do not know this for sure. Pretty sure.) ALSO, NO HAPPINESS FOR YOU MARCUS SMART. NONE. Flipper swims in a river of his own tears back to Oklahoma.
(6) Baylor over (11) Nebraska because if you leave the Big XII you are dead to me. But Baylor loses to Creighton on the double offense of their awful highlighter uniforms, and Catholics beat Baptists. Sorry to see a bear mascot go, though.
(2) Wisconsin over (15) American. Wisconsin goes pretty far, because Badgers are cool I guess, if you're a Hufflepuff. But my craziest neighbors of all time were Wisconsin fans, so taste defeat and LIKE IT. That's for feeding the deer, YA LOON.
(3) Creighton over (14) Louisiana Lafayette. Creighton is in my Final Four because both Catholic and witty. Remember those That Shit Creigh, Ain't It Jay student section shirts? GENIUS. Also one of my all time favorite sorority sisters has family ties, so I'm down. Even though it would be cool to relive '88, Creighton beats Oklahoma. See ya, Sooners. Welcome to the Final Four, Creighton.
(7) Oregon over (10) BYU. DUCKS FLY TOGETHER.
MIDWEST
(1) Wichita State over (16) Cal Poly. Didn't even know Wichita State existed when I came to Kansas. It's a whole new world. So, do what ya gotta do, Kansans, I guess. Also, sup to Wiggins' brother.
(9) K State over (9) Kentucky. How to choose between two evils? KState is purple (WORST) and Octogon of Doom sounds like a lame WWE special I would skip past every single time on TV. But Calipari strikes me as the absolute slimiest of specimens, and thus no happiness for Kentucky. Guess I like when the Big XII has some success too, but at WHAT COST, KSTATE. WHAT COST.
(5) SLU over (12) North Carolina State. Catholics PLUS a billiken (sp?? does anyone really know?) looks like a Dr. Seuss character. Wait, is it a Dr. Seuss character? Also my dad is from St. Louis so that's cool. General disdain for universities with "state" in their names- no explanation, no excuse.
(4) Louisville (4) over Manhattan (13). Because even though I love the city, I'm not an idiot. Also people don't get jazzed about college athletics out here like they do pretty much anywhere else in the continental United States. Should've seen the local news coverage of it- just a blink. But listening to the apparent 15 variations on how to say Louisville gets old real fast, so they won't be sticking around long haul.
(11) Tennessee over (6) Massachusetts. Gonna be real honest, I'm finishing this post at work and I can't tell you who I picked. Maybe the vols because my little brother wanted to go there when he was younger? Maybe Massachusetts because I wish I was from Boston/a Kennedy? Irrelevant, they lose to Duke either way.
(3) Duke over (14) Mercer. Here is my deep dark secret- I love Duke. I fell in love with JJ Redick in middle school and never looked back. My family is disgusted. My Kansas friends DON'T EVEN KNOW. But here we are. I love Duke. Did you know the Duke family lived in Jersey and wanted to rename Princeton after the family, but Princeton was like "uh gonna go with no", so the Dukes basically rebuilt Princeton in North Carolina? Ballsy. Duke Farms still exists up here. I love Coach K, I can't spell his name. I love Jay Bilas. I love the Blue Devils. Welcome to my Final Four, I'll look fondly at your tears when you lose to my hawks.
(10) ASU over (7) Texas. Almost went to Texas, but instead the worst human in my graduating class did. My high school pettiness is to your gain, ASU.
(2) Michigan over (15) Wofford. The Arctic Monkeys had an early EP that was called "Who the F*** Are Arctic Monkeys?" that's what I think about when I hear the name Wofford. Also, #grateful Wofford isn't on my resume, because jokes galore, right? Right? Tons of great people I know went to Michigan, including my super cool English department mentor who plays in an all girl Irish rock band, who also spells Kathryn the right way. So welcome to the Elite Eight Michigan!
Upon finishing this, I already know Ohio State is out. Bracket busted. You should all know Klew has been taunting me with screenshots of the score, so, that's nice.
FINAL FOUR: Kansas Jayhawks, Creighton Jays, Michigan State Spartans, Duke Blue Devils.
KU vs Duke, endless parades culminating in my wedding to Wayne Selden. See ya'll there.
KATH OUT.
I'm the most hated of all of my cousins every single March, and i'm totally cool with that.
Well well well, here we are again ladies and gents. The Big 12 Tournament has ended (stupidly if you ask me. Don't criticize me. I know stupidly is not a profound and intelligent choice of a word. Don't care. That's the term I choose to describe the Big 12 Tournament.)
Selection Sunday has come and gone, and it's that time again. Time for the Big Dance. No, I'm not talkin senior prom (was that a lame joke? I don't care. I never went to senior prom. KC Cheer or die y'all.) IT'S TIME FOR THE NCAA BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT!!!!!!!!!
My family all signed up for ESPN accounts a few years ago and we put our brackets into a group and compete to see who ends up picking the most accurate bracket. All. Of. Us. My cousins, aunts, uncles, even my grandma. It's a ton of fun because we all love to talk shit, and because it gives you something to be invested in when the teams you DGAF about are playing.
Here's a little bit of background on my family members and their obsession with basketball: A lot of the boy cousins on my mom's side of the family are HUGE basketball fans. Like they all played in high school, one of them played in college, they LOVE basketball. Hell, there's a 30 for 30 that features my cousins' grandfather, and their uncle was on the coaching staff at UNC for a hot second. Like, they're ALL ABOUT IT. They go nuts whenever I'm in Allen Fieldhouse and I snap a pic and send it to them. They spend quite a bit of time and expertise trying to engineer the perfect winning bracket...
...and I beat them all almost every year. They GET SO MAD!
This is because I could really care less about the sport of Basketball. I am a fan because I attended the greatest Basketball school in the country (I'm not even going to be politically correct and say "arguably." There's nothing to argue about. KU is the greatest.) and even if you don't care for basketball, you love KU Basketball. It's really true. So I put no REAL strategy or thought into my bracket picks whatsoever, and I usually end up choosing a huge upset or two that nobody chose because they thought they did all the research and there is no mathematical way that the 13 seed just beat the 4 seed to get to the elite 8. Well LOL for you guys because it's March Madness. Literally anything can happen.
So this year I'm going to share with you all my bulletproof strategy to pick the winning bracket as a "mildly interested at best" participant in my family pool of basketball nerds. They're all literally going to kill me, and I can FEEL the large collective eye roll coming from Bobby and Chris O'Connell right now. Hey, whatevs. My outrageous strategies get me mentioned in the email chain pretty frequently. No press is bad press you know what I'm sayin?!
My bracket has the same title every year: Hail to Old K Lew. It has the same winner every year: The University of Kansas. I said I was neither here nor there on the sport of basketball. I AM STEADFASTLY PASSIONATE about my love for the Jayhawks. So there ya go.
Hail to Old K Lew: My Picks for the 2014 NCAA Tournament that are going to win my family contest and piss off all my cousins. :)
Selection Sunday has come and gone, and it's that time again. Time for the Big Dance. No, I'm not talkin senior prom (was that a lame joke? I don't care. I never went to senior prom. KC Cheer or die y'all.) IT'S TIME FOR THE NCAA BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT!!!!!!!!!
My family all signed up for ESPN accounts a few years ago and we put our brackets into a group and compete to see who ends up picking the most accurate bracket. All. Of. Us. My cousins, aunts, uncles, even my grandma. It's a ton of fun because we all love to talk shit, and because it gives you something to be invested in when the teams you DGAF about are playing.
Here's a little bit of background on my family members and their obsession with basketball: A lot of the boy cousins on my mom's side of the family are HUGE basketball fans. Like they all played in high school, one of them played in college, they LOVE basketball. Hell, there's a 30 for 30 that features my cousins' grandfather, and their uncle was on the coaching staff at UNC for a hot second. Like, they're ALL ABOUT IT. They go nuts whenever I'm in Allen Fieldhouse and I snap a pic and send it to them. They spend quite a bit of time and expertise trying to engineer the perfect winning bracket...
...and I beat them all almost every year. They GET SO MAD!
This is because I could really care less about the sport of Basketball. I am a fan because I attended the greatest Basketball school in the country (I'm not even going to be politically correct and say "arguably." There's nothing to argue about. KU is the greatest.) and even if you don't care for basketball, you love KU Basketball. It's really true. So I put no REAL strategy or thought into my bracket picks whatsoever, and I usually end up choosing a huge upset or two that nobody chose because they thought they did all the research and there is no mathematical way that the 13 seed just beat the 4 seed to get to the elite 8. Well LOL for you guys because it's March Madness. Literally anything can happen.
So this year I'm going to share with you all my bulletproof strategy to pick the winning bracket as a "mildly interested at best" participant in my family pool of basketball nerds. They're all literally going to kill me, and I can FEEL the large collective eye roll coming from Bobby and Chris O'Connell right now. Hey, whatevs. My outrageous strategies get me mentioned in the email chain pretty frequently. No press is bad press you know what I'm sayin?!
My bracket has the same title every year: Hail to Old K Lew. It has the same winner every year: The University of Kansas. I said I was neither here nor there on the sport of basketball. I AM STEADFASTLY PASSIONATE about my love for the Jayhawks. So there ya go.
Hail to Old K Lew: My Picks for the 2014 NCAA Tournament that are going to win my family contest and piss off all my cousins. :)
Hail to Old K Lew: My first round picks for the 2014 NCAA Tournament
There's a blog post explanation to accompany this. Read it here.
Here ya go. Don't steal my tricks. Or do. Then you're just an idiot for copying something that is this farfetched out of my own brain.
(9) Pittsburgh over (8) Colorado. This is more of a "I DON'T choose Colorado" thing. People from Colorado won't stfu about the fact that they can smoke weed legally and it's starting to get annoying. WE GET IT. So you don't get this too.
(5) VCU over (12) Stephen F. Austin. This was a tough one because SFA has deece cheerleading, but VCU beat KU in 2011. That deserves some respect. So there ya go VCU. That's all you're gettin from me.
(4) UCLA over (13) Tulsa. If you had to choose a place to live, between Los Angeles and Tulsa, Oklahoma, which would you pick? Yeah. I thought so. UCLA it is.
(11) Dayton over (6) Ohio State. This is like picking the nicest terrorist. Woof. If you know anything about me, you know I have personal beef with the state of Ohio. Worst state in the nation if you ask me (thanks to a less-than-great experience in Columbus Freshman year), and both of these schools are located in Ohio. Dayton gets my vote because my Aunt Trish and Uncle Tom both attended Dayton and it led to their true love. So that's worth something I guess. Screw you, Ohio.
(3) Syracuse over (14) W. Michigan. Same reason I picked Florida. The "Don't Be A Dummy" theory.
(10) Stanford over (7) New Mexico. I feel as if I met a Stanford alum and a New Mexico alum, I would probably have more in common with the Stanford alum. Is this profiling? Maybe. It's not intended to be, I just get a better vibe from Stanford. Also I like red.
(2) Kansas over (15) E. Kentucky. I don't think I have to explain this one, but I will anyway. THE UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS IS LITERALLY THE GREATEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ANYONE EVER OF ALL TIME EVER. I'm fired up you guys. Rock Chalk Jayhawk. (In case you were curious, I picked them to win the entire thing. Shocked? You shouldn't be.)
(8) Memphis over (9) George Washington. Memphis gave KU a run for our money in 2008. Obviously to no avail, so they get my vote because they tried. Had they beat us in 2008, I probably would choose George Washington here. Also enjoy this photo of Mario's Miracle while you think of Memphis.
(12) Harvard over (5) Cincinnati. Elle Woods went to Harvard, so that's that.
(4) Michigan State over (13) Deleware. This is more of a "not Deleware" vote. BLUE HENS? Nope. No. H8 it.
(6) UNC over (11) Providence: I love that color blue. Always have, always will. I dreamed of attending the University of North Carolina when I was young just because of how pretty the color blue is. Also Chapel Hill sounds like a delightful place.
(3) Iowa State over (14) NC Central. Even though I NEVER EVER EVER want to see another Iowa State fan as long as I live, I still give them this vote. They beat KU in the Big 12 Tournament. So, respect, but NEVER COME BACK TO KANSAS CITY THIS PAST WEEKEND WAS SO ANNOYING.
(7) UCONN over (10) St. Joseph's because I feel like it. Also I love dogs. Go Huskies.
(2) Villanova over (15) Milwaukee because IT SNOWS A LOT IN MILWAUKEE. NOPE. NOT HAVING ANY OF THAT. Also Mary Lewis wanted to go to Villanova so,
(9) Oklahoma State over (8) Gonzaga. Oklahoma State has some of the best cheerleaders in the nation. This one was a no-brainer.
(5) Oklahoma over (12) North Dakota State. I can't even begin to fathom how cold it is in North Dakota. Also I think I might have liked to attend OU. Norman is a pretty nice place. Me and Dad went to Cane's there this fall. It was pleasant.
(4) SDSU over (13) New Mexico State because I clicked SDSU first.
(6) Baylor over (11) Nebraska. Nebraska has snow. Also Dr. Pepper was invented in Waco. I think Dr. Pepper is deece, so Baylor it is.
(14) Louisiana Lafayette over (3) Creighton. I did this one because I feel like everyone is going to pick Creighton and I want to be able to be smug if they don't win. I pick one of these every year for this very reason.
(10) BYU over (7) Oregon. Everyone at BYU is a Mormon and I LOVED the Book of Mormon. Also I don't like Oregon fans.
(2) Wisconsin over (15) American because OKAY AMERICAN. AMERICAN?! What the hell kind of college name is that? Everyone in the USA is American. You don't just get to HAVE THAT.
(8) Kentucky over (9) Kansas State. I do not feel the aforementioned obligation toward Kansas State. I made this pick for the exact INVERSE reason I picked KU. Kansas State might be the worst thing to ever happen to anyone ever. Might be. I'm not gonna put all that evil on them, but you get what I'm saying.
(12) NC State or Xavier over (5) Saint Louis. One of my dearest friends, Cara Keeble is a Mizzou grad. In my opinion she is the most horrible sports fan of all time, simply because she's literally always against me. Keebs is at Grad School at SLU, so I felt obligated to choose against her out of spite. Keeble will probably be in my wedding, but I'm throwing her zero bones during March Madness.
(4) Louisville over (13) Manhattan. Because I would KILL to be a Louisville Cheerleader. Those bows! They are God's gift to cheerleading.
(11) Iowa or Tennessee over (6) U Mass. Because if you put a "D" in front of U Mass it's DUMASS. Nuff said.
(3) Duke over (14) Mercer. "Don't Be A Dummy" theory.
(7) Texas over (10) Arizona State. Whataburger exists in Texas. Do I need to say anything else? If you really need me to say something else, my former teammate Jessica Tauber is a UT Cheerleader and for my 20th birthday she gave me a Texas Cheer t-shirt.
(2) Michigan over (15) Wofford because who has ever heard of Wofford? I want to put syrup on Wofford and eat it for breakfast!
Here ya go. Don't steal my tricks. Or do. Then you're just an idiot for copying something that is this farfetched out of my own brain.
The South Region:
(1) Florida over (16) Albany. While yes, I do use a lot of nonsense as part of my strategy for creating some of the top scoring brackets of all time, I'm not an idiot. Sometimes I do pick teams that I know are clearly better than their opponents. I always pick all of the #1 seeds to make it past the 1st round. I call this the "don't be a dummy" theory.(9) Pittsburgh over (8) Colorado. This is more of a "I DON'T choose Colorado" thing. People from Colorado won't stfu about the fact that they can smoke weed legally and it's starting to get annoying. WE GET IT. So you don't get this too.
(5) VCU over (12) Stephen F. Austin. This was a tough one because SFA has deece cheerleading, but VCU beat KU in 2011. That deserves some respect. So there ya go VCU. That's all you're gettin from me.
(4) UCLA over (13) Tulsa. If you had to choose a place to live, between Los Angeles and Tulsa, Oklahoma, which would you pick? Yeah. I thought so. UCLA it is.
(11) Dayton over (6) Ohio State. This is like picking the nicest terrorist. Woof. If you know anything about me, you know I have personal beef with the state of Ohio. Worst state in the nation if you ask me (thanks to a less-than-great experience in Columbus Freshman year), and both of these schools are located in Ohio. Dayton gets my vote because my Aunt Trish and Uncle Tom both attended Dayton and it led to their true love. So that's worth something I guess. Screw you, Ohio.
(3) Syracuse over (14) W. Michigan. Same reason I picked Florida. The "Don't Be A Dummy" theory.
(10) Stanford over (7) New Mexico. I feel as if I met a Stanford alum and a New Mexico alum, I would probably have more in common with the Stanford alum. Is this profiling? Maybe. It's not intended to be, I just get a better vibe from Stanford. Also I like red.
(2) Kansas over (15) E. Kentucky. I don't think I have to explain this one, but I will anyway. THE UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS IS LITERALLY THE GREATEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ANYONE EVER OF ALL TIME EVER. I'm fired up you guys. Rock Chalk Jayhawk. (In case you were curious, I picked them to win the entire thing. Shocked? You shouldn't be.)
The East Region
(1) Virginia over (16) Costal Carolina. "Don't Be a Dummy" Theory. Also Tina Fey graduated from the University of Virginia, so that logic perpetuated them all the way to the Elite 8 for me.(8) Memphis over (9) George Washington. Memphis gave KU a run for our money in 2008. Obviously to no avail, so they get my vote because they tried. Had they beat us in 2008, I probably would choose George Washington here. Also enjoy this photo of Mario's Miracle while you think of Memphis.
(12) Harvard over (5) Cincinnati. Elle Woods went to Harvard, so that's that.
(4) Michigan State over (13) Deleware. This is more of a "not Deleware" vote. BLUE HENS? Nope. No. H8 it.
(6) UNC over (11) Providence: I love that color blue. Always have, always will. I dreamed of attending the University of North Carolina when I was young just because of how pretty the color blue is. Also Chapel Hill sounds like a delightful place.
(3) Iowa State over (14) NC Central. Even though I NEVER EVER EVER want to see another Iowa State fan as long as I live, I still give them this vote. They beat KU in the Big 12 Tournament. So, respect, but NEVER COME BACK TO KANSAS CITY THIS PAST WEEKEND WAS SO ANNOYING.
(7) UCONN over (10) St. Joseph's because I feel like it. Also I love dogs. Go Huskies.
(2) Villanova over (15) Milwaukee because IT SNOWS A LOT IN MILWAUKEE. NOPE. NOT HAVING ANY OF THAT. Also Mary Lewis wanted to go to Villanova so,
The West Region
(1) Arizona over (16) Weber State because it's warm in Arizona. Also I have some friends that went there. Also they're a 1 seed. Also who has ever heard of Weber State? Also I'm not a huge fan of Dr. Webber on Grey's Anatomy so Weber State, you don't get my vote.(9) Oklahoma State over (8) Gonzaga. Oklahoma State has some of the best cheerleaders in the nation. This one was a no-brainer.
(5) Oklahoma over (12) North Dakota State. I can't even begin to fathom how cold it is in North Dakota. Also I think I might have liked to attend OU. Norman is a pretty nice place. Me and Dad went to Cane's there this fall. It was pleasant.
(4) SDSU over (13) New Mexico State because I clicked SDSU first.
(6) Baylor over (11) Nebraska. Nebraska has snow. Also Dr. Pepper was invented in Waco. I think Dr. Pepper is deece, so Baylor it is.
(14) Louisiana Lafayette over (3) Creighton. I did this one because I feel like everyone is going to pick Creighton and I want to be able to be smug if they don't win. I pick one of these every year for this very reason.
(10) BYU over (7) Oregon. Everyone at BYU is a Mormon and I LOVED the Book of Mormon. Also I don't like Oregon fans.
(2) Wisconsin over (15) American because OKAY AMERICAN. AMERICAN?! What the hell kind of college name is that? Everyone in the USA is American. You don't just get to HAVE THAT.
The Midwest Region
(1) Wichita State over (16) CalPoly or TX Southern. They're from Kansas. I feel obligated to throw them a bone. Anyone else think it's a tad ridiculous they're a 1 seed? Wichita is stupid, but whatever. Good for them.(8) Kentucky over (9) Kansas State. I do not feel the aforementioned obligation toward Kansas State. I made this pick for the exact INVERSE reason I picked KU. Kansas State might be the worst thing to ever happen to anyone ever. Might be. I'm not gonna put all that evil on them, but you get what I'm saying.
(12) NC State or Xavier over (5) Saint Louis. One of my dearest friends, Cara Keeble is a Mizzou grad. In my opinion she is the most horrible sports fan of all time, simply because she's literally always against me. Keebs is at Grad School at SLU, so I felt obligated to choose against her out of spite. Keeble will probably be in my wedding, but I'm throwing her zero bones during March Madness.
(4) Louisville over (13) Manhattan. Because I would KILL to be a Louisville Cheerleader. Those bows! They are God's gift to cheerleading.
(11) Iowa or Tennessee over (6) U Mass. Because if you put a "D" in front of U Mass it's DUMASS. Nuff said.
(3) Duke over (14) Mercer. "Don't Be A Dummy" theory.
(7) Texas over (10) Arizona State. Whataburger exists in Texas. Do I need to say anything else? If you really need me to say something else, my former teammate Jessica Tauber is a UT Cheerleader and for my 20th birthday she gave me a Texas Cheer t-shirt.
(2) Michigan over (15) Wofford because who has ever heard of Wofford? I want to put syrup on Wofford and eat it for breakfast!
365 Lovely Thoughts: #77
"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."
-C.S. Lewis
The Bachelor Finale
I wish I could use emojis on this blogging software because the title of this post would have been called "The Bachelor Finale *red mad face emoji*"
Yeah. That's right. I said it. Not even just the plain old mad face. The RED mad face which means I'M REALLY MAD.
I started this blog around the time this season started. It was one of the very first things I wrote about, and I was stoked to keep a weekly tab of my witty thoughts and jokes about the Bachelor. Like yeah when people asked what my blog was about, it was a bit embarrassing to say "Uh I mostly write about the Bachelor," but at least I could follow that up with "but it's not just a sappy recap, it's all of the things my friends and I talk about while we watch. Basically a shit-talk-fest!"We love to watch these seasons and just poke fun at how absurd it can be and talk shit on all of the contestants. I have had some GREAT laughs in past seasons of The Bachelor with my friends. JUAN PABLO PISSED ME OFF SO BADLY THAT I COULDN'T EVEN THINK OF WITTY SARCASTIC IRONIC JOKES I ACTUALLY BECAME INVESTED AND FELT BAD FOR THE WOMEN. So now my blog is basically just a bunch of bimbo-esque ranting about this stupid TV show. AND THIS SEASON WAS TOO EASY AS FAR AS JOKES ARE CONCERNED! A girl whose occupation is "Dog Lover!" A girl who spends 99% of her time naked! A girl whose teeth were all one piece and talked like a confused person! YOU'RE RUINING MY ATTEMPTS AT COMEDIC DISCOVERY JUAN PABLO.
Juan Pablo picked Nikki last night, which is exactly what I hoped WOULDN'T happen. I hated Clare all season, and once I started to hate Juan Pablo I wanted him to pick her because I liked Nikki and didn't want to see her end up with this guy. Clare gained points in my book last night when she told Juan Pablo off after he dumped her on that beach (after making her walk through gross dirty sand in strappy heels. That looked so hard you guys.)
My mom and Bones were like "okay CLARE you idiot you knew somebody was going to get dumped you don't get to freak out like this." I say she does. Clare went on her final date with Juan Pablo and apparently he said something really vulgar to her and she got really offended. Later that night she basically gave him a chance to dump her right then and there. I got the vibe the conversation was basically her telling him "if you have any doubts tell me about them" so she could asses the situation and decide if they were big enough doubts for her to leave, and he was all like "no no no no no stay." If he's as "honest" as he claims to be, why wouldn't he tell her all of his doubts? He basically begged her not to go, and since he claims to be so honest, SHE BELIEVED HIM. LIKE YOU SHOULD BELIEVE AN HONEST PERSON. Props to Clare. You're an idiot, but I'm glad you told him off and then refused to talk to him at the "After the Final Rose" show.
Then Nikki showed up. Juan Pablo told her he wasn't going to propose to her because he "wasn't 100% sure." Okay that's fine, but then he followed up with "I like you a lot. A LOT."
..........................................
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! She was just expecting a proposal and you basically passed her a note in 5th grade math. If I was Nikki I would not have accepted the rose. God. That was so dumb.
SO THEN the After The Final Rose show came on. In my opinion, the ENTIRE POINT of ATFR is for the happy couple to reunite and shout it from the rooftops. Also, to let the audience know what their next steps will be as a couple.
So Chris Harrison sat down with Juan Pablo and Nikki and as always, asked the questions he normally asks. One of his first questions was "are you in love with Nikki?" And Juan Pablo refused to answer. Nikki told Chris Harrison he still hadn't told her he loves her. Like, WHAT?!? Okay Juan Pablo, it's fine if you're not in love with her yet, BUT THROW HER A DAMN BONE. How about a "I can't wait to start my life with her," or "I'm excited to fall in love with Nikki." But no. None of that. Just Juan Pablo being rude to Chris Harrison (who was getting so pissed off which was hilarious).
Again, Mom and Bones were like "omg he's making this so awkward for them. He's being such an ass." I disagree. It's Chris Harrison's JOB to ask these questions. When Juan Pablo told him he wasn't going to answer his question about future plans "because that's private," I would've been pissed too. YOU SIGNED UP TO BE ON THE BACHELOR. YOU ARE CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS AND PLANS.
The entire thing pissed me off entirely. I hope Nikki doesn't leave Kansas City for him. If they both move here I hope I see them out so I can be like "you are not a nice man Juan Pablo." Yeah. I said it.
So thanks Juan Pablo, for allowing me to post a zillion blog posts about your season and them not even being that funny. Stoked for Andi to be the next Bachelorette. I'll be back to write about that. DON'T LET ME DOWN ANDI.
Girl Power. Women's rights. Tina Fey.
Why I’m Giving Up Swearing for Lent Instead of Candy Like Every Other Year
Even lapsed Catholics know not to mess with Lent. I have not been inside a church two solid months, but Lent is a serious business (I follow the pope on twitter though, so I think I’m safe. Sup, Frankie). It’s a commitment. We start the season rubbing burned plants on our foreheads. That’s pretty metal. And I like it better than New Year’s Resolutions because:
1. Catholic guilt is such a better motivator than half baked ideas out of a post Christmas haze (i.e. I’ve eaten a lot of cookies this week, I’m going to be healthy ALL YEAR NOW- this is not logic. This isn’t even guilt. This is your body saying HELP ME.).
2. There’s an actual time limit that doesn’t seem easy but also not unreasonable. Forty days is a blink of an eye, but now that you are consciously aware of it, it feels like an eternity. Time is weird.
3. Now that I’m older and can consciously think of bad habits and improvements I could make to be a better person over the course of forty days (as compared to my mother’s suggestions to her chubby fifth grade daughter “what about giving up carbs?!”) I can actually reflect on why these habits matter and what matters to me to begin with. Lent has real value.
This Lent, I’m doing the unthinkable. I’m giving up swearing.
Most people, upon meeting me, assume I have a saintly mouth (I can no longer tell you what “assume” means— ask me after Easter) and I cannot fathom why. It’s probably the same reason people assume I am a neat and orderly human being, which is laughable. Within two weeks of a new serious friendship, without exception, the other person will inevitably gasp after an expletive rolls off my tongue as naturally as hello (or, dependent on mood, a slew of expletives— I’ll be honest here). This happened so frequently in college it became my favorite joke. “OMG! I cannot believe you just said that!” trailed me wherever I went. It’s not that I am particularly vulgar (I don’t think I am? Self-perception is impossible.) or attempting shock value (believe me, it’s a shock anyone listens or notices at all). All I am saying is that, sometimes, there is nothing more satisfying than a perfectly punched swear. I have had a foul mouth since the fifth grade, to the point that when my two friends decided we should become a “gang” for about a week my cool gang name was “the curser”. SO IMAGINATIVE, but also so Jersey.
When I told my mother I was planning on giving up foul language for Lent I truly thought she would be proud, glad I’m cleaning up my verbal bad habits. Immediately I realized this assumption was deeply incorrect. Somehow it had entirely escaped her notice that her only daughter swears like a sailor in most conversation with her peers or above. “I cannot believe you are in a position where you NEED to give up bad language. That is SO unladylike.” I have promised to be honest, so I will admit to being a committed contrarian, particularly to my lovely mother who does not deserve it. BUT WHY IS FOUL LANGUAGE UNLADYLIKE? Does that make foul language inherently masculine? (Her answer is yes, mine is stop asking stupid questions). I am not giving up foul language in an effort to be more ladylike. My words are of my choosing and I can say whatever, whenever I please. This is because I am a human being, zero modifiers necessary.
I almost gave up giving up cursing right then and there to prove a) language is not predicated on gender, MOTHER (“acknowledge my liberal arts degree!!!”) b) I am a wannabe rebel, and this is how I rebel c) giving up on things is pretty convenient most of the time. But then, with the benefit of feigned adulthood and a humanities based education, I remembered WHY I wanted to give up swearing in the first place. Why is almost always inconvenient, but is ALWAYS important.
I was an English & History major. I love language. I love the way we choose to represent ourselves through verbal and written communication, and I love the way words can look and sound beautiful or disturbing or energizing or depressing. Not the way we say them, but the sound and structure of the word itself. I love how we twist words around to squeeze out every last drop of potential meaning. I love writing and reading and clever lyrics for this reason. I realized that swearing, because it is so satisfying when done correctly and for the right reasons, had begun to replace any art I had in my communication. Four letter words became giant placeholders for much more descriptive words or phrases or even sentences. I no longer challenged myself to express my thoughts creatively, thoughtfully, or even specifically. Adjectives and adverbs and lovely similes have been drained out of my brain in favor of more lethal weaponry in my verbal arsenal. But lethal rarely means superior. So, I’m trying to restructure my communicative strategy.
For the record, I did swear six times on Ash Wednesday (TWO JUST FROM SINGING ALONG IN MY CAR) and have made a swear jar. My mother thought swear jars are where you write down what you wish you could say, and put it in the jar so no one can see but you still got it out of your system. Can’t make it up, friends.
So, my challenge to myself for Lent was to not only be acceptable in the presence of more innocent ears, but to relearn how to communicate in relevant, expressive, and truthfully, fun ways. Because for loving it so much, I don’t use language nearly enough.
RCR Opening Night is tomorrow & I feel nostalgic
So here's a lot of my very favorite RCR related pics. I might post more later. Rock Chalk Revue was hands down my favorite part of college. I made some of the best friends I will ever have through Rock Chalk Revue and it helped me come out of my shell and really fully enjoy college. I will come back to RCR every year for as long as I can and hope to be able to donate to the cause (once I'm not poor). It has brought me so much happiness, so if I can help keep it alive so that it brings someone even half as much of that happiness, I will feel like I'm making a difference.
So here ya go. My favorite memories of college.
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Bachelor Week 8
Holy Bachelor this week. I'm doing this in bulletpoint form because I have a lot of scattered things and well it's my blog I can do whatever I want.
Part 1
- They did hometown dates, and HE WENT TO KANSAS CITY!!!! They ate Oklahoma Joe's. It made me want it, so we had it for dinner last night while we watched haha. They also went to PBR Big Sky in P&L. WHY. WHY DID THEY DO THAT. That is not a famous KC place. That is a stupid KC place if you ask me. Also they made Kansas City out to be this big cattle cowboy place. Uh, OKAY. That's not true. But whatever.
- He had a lot of pretty awkward encounters with parents because of the language barrier. Awkward. With each episode that passes I realize more and more that Juan Pablo is not an intelligent person. He blames it on the language barrier a lot but he's not that smart.
- Renée's son was having NO PART of meeting Juan Pablo. Hhahahah the entire time Juan Pablo was talking to him he was like "Who TF is this guy." Poor kid.
- THEN HE CUT RENÉE! NOOOO! WHY DID YOU LET HER INTRODUCE YOU TO HER SON?! Not cool dude, not cool.
- THEN they went to st. lucia. It was beautiful. I swear i'm going to go on this show just because I want to travel to some of these bomb places. (Unless you're a producer reading this. Then I mean, because I'm looking for love! I want a fairytale ending)
- ANDI TOTALLY SHOWED HIM WHATS UP AND LEFT. The entire thing was really weird. She said he was rude and self-centered in the fantasy suite and that she knew he wasn't the one for him. Props to you Andi for following your gut. You rock.
- She was pretty pissed that she had wasted all of that time on him though, which I don't blame her for.
- He was kind of an ass when she was trying to tell him how much of an ass he is. He didn't feel bad that she was leaving at all. After this episode my suspicions about Juan Pablo have been confirmed: He sucks.
- Also, apparently Nikki and Andi have become pretty close friends during this process. If I were Nikki and I found out Andi left I would want to hear her reasoning directly from HER. I would want to know if something awful happened that means I should be wary.
- Also if I were Nikki and I saw that the only two left were me and Clare, I'd go home. There's no way you could love me if you also love this person who is the 100% absolute polar opposite as me.
- Basically, I kind of wish he ends up with nobody. I think he kind of deserves it.
