Here ya go. Don't steal my tricks. Or do. Then you're just an idiot for copying something that is this farfetched out of my own brain.
The South Region:
(1) Florida over (16) Albany. While yes, I do use a lot of nonsense as part of my strategy for creating some of the top scoring brackets of all time, I'm not an idiot. Sometimes I do pick teams that I know are clearly better than their opponents. I always pick all of the #1 seeds to make it past the 1st round. I call this the "don't be a dummy" theory.(9) Pittsburgh over (8) Colorado. This is more of a "I DON'T choose Colorado" thing. People from Colorado won't stfu about the fact that they can smoke weed legally and it's starting to get annoying. WE GET IT. So you don't get this too.
(5) VCU over (12) Stephen F. Austin. This was a tough one because SFA has deece cheerleading, but VCU beat KU in 2011. That deserves some respect. So there ya go VCU. That's all you're gettin from me.
(4) UCLA over (13) Tulsa. If you had to choose a place to live, between Los Angeles and Tulsa, Oklahoma, which would you pick? Yeah. I thought so. UCLA it is.
(11) Dayton over (6) Ohio State. This is like picking the nicest terrorist. Woof. If you know anything about me, you know I have personal beef with the state of Ohio. Worst state in the nation if you ask me (thanks to a less-than-great experience in Columbus Freshman year), and both of these schools are located in Ohio. Dayton gets my vote because my Aunt Trish and Uncle Tom both attended Dayton and it led to their true love. So that's worth something I guess. Screw you, Ohio.
(3) Syracuse over (14) W. Michigan. Same reason I picked Florida. The "Don't Be A Dummy" theory.
(10) Stanford over (7) New Mexico. I feel as if I met a Stanford alum and a New Mexico alum, I would probably have more in common with the Stanford alum. Is this profiling? Maybe. It's not intended to be, I just get a better vibe from Stanford. Also I like red.
(2) Kansas over (15) E. Kentucky. I don't think I have to explain this one, but I will anyway. THE UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS IS LITERALLY THE GREATEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ANYONE EVER OF ALL TIME EVER. I'm fired up you guys. Rock Chalk Jayhawk. (In case you were curious, I picked them to win the entire thing. Shocked? You shouldn't be.)
The East Region
(1) Virginia over (16) Costal Carolina. "Don't Be a Dummy" Theory. Also Tina Fey graduated from the University of Virginia, so that logic perpetuated them all the way to the Elite 8 for me.(8) Memphis over (9) George Washington. Memphis gave KU a run for our money in 2008. Obviously to no avail, so they get my vote because they tried. Had they beat us in 2008, I probably would choose George Washington here. Also enjoy this photo of Mario's Miracle while you think of Memphis.
(12) Harvard over (5) Cincinnati. Elle Woods went to Harvard, so that's that.
(4) Michigan State over (13) Deleware. This is more of a "not Deleware" vote. BLUE HENS? Nope. No. H8 it.
(6) UNC over (11) Providence: I love that color blue. Always have, always will. I dreamed of attending the University of North Carolina when I was young just because of how pretty the color blue is. Also Chapel Hill sounds like a delightful place.
(3) Iowa State over (14) NC Central. Even though I NEVER EVER EVER want to see another Iowa State fan as long as I live, I still give them this vote. They beat KU in the Big 12 Tournament. So, respect, but NEVER COME BACK TO KANSAS CITY THIS PAST WEEKEND WAS SO ANNOYING.
(7) UCONN over (10) St. Joseph's because I feel like it. Also I love dogs. Go Huskies.
(2) Villanova over (15) Milwaukee because IT SNOWS A LOT IN MILWAUKEE. NOPE. NOT HAVING ANY OF THAT. Also Mary Lewis wanted to go to Villanova so,
The West Region
(1) Arizona over (16) Weber State because it's warm in Arizona. Also I have some friends that went there. Also they're a 1 seed. Also who has ever heard of Weber State? Also I'm not a huge fan of Dr. Webber on Grey's Anatomy so Weber State, you don't get my vote.(9) Oklahoma State over (8) Gonzaga. Oklahoma State has some of the best cheerleaders in the nation. This one was a no-brainer.
(5) Oklahoma over (12) North Dakota State. I can't even begin to fathom how cold it is in North Dakota. Also I think I might have liked to attend OU. Norman is a pretty nice place. Me and Dad went to Cane's there this fall. It was pleasant.
(4) SDSU over (13) New Mexico State because I clicked SDSU first.
(6) Baylor over (11) Nebraska. Nebraska has snow. Also Dr. Pepper was invented in Waco. I think Dr. Pepper is deece, so Baylor it is.
(14) Louisiana Lafayette over (3) Creighton. I did this one because I feel like everyone is going to pick Creighton and I want to be able to be smug if they don't win. I pick one of these every year for this very reason.
(10) BYU over (7) Oregon. Everyone at BYU is a Mormon and I LOVED the Book of Mormon. Also I don't like Oregon fans.
(2) Wisconsin over (15) American because OKAY AMERICAN. AMERICAN?! What the hell kind of college name is that? Everyone in the USA is American. You don't just get to HAVE THAT.
The Midwest Region
(1) Wichita State over (16) CalPoly or TX Southern. They're from Kansas. I feel obligated to throw them a bone. Anyone else think it's a tad ridiculous they're a 1 seed? Wichita is stupid, but whatever. Good for them.
(8) Kentucky over (9) Kansas State. I do not feel the aforementioned obligation toward Kansas State. I made this pick for the exact INVERSE reason I picked KU. Kansas State might be the worst thing to ever happen to anyone ever. Might be. I'm not gonna put all that evil on them, but you get what I'm saying.
(12) NC State or Xavier over (5) Saint Louis. One of my dearest friends, Cara Keeble is a Mizzou grad. In my opinion she is the most horrible sports fan of all time, simply because she's literally always against me. Keebs is at Grad School at SLU, so I felt obligated to choose against her out of spite. Keeble will probably be in my wedding, but I'm throwing her zero bones during March Madness.
(4) Louisville over (13) Manhattan. Because I would KILL to be a Louisville Cheerleader. Those bows! They are God's gift to cheerleading.
(11) Iowa or Tennessee over (6) U Mass. Because if you put a "D" in front of U Mass it's DUMASS. Nuff said.
(3) Duke over (14) Mercer. "Don't Be A Dummy" theory.
(7) Texas over (10) Arizona State. Whataburger exists in Texas. Do I need to say anything else? If you really need me to say something else, my former teammate Jessica Tauber is a UT Cheerleader and for my 20th birthday she gave me a Texas Cheer t-shirt.
(2) Michigan over (15) Wofford because who has ever heard of Wofford? I want to put syrup on Wofford and eat it for breakfast!
Glorious logic!!!
ReplyDelete