The World Cup begins today (June 12th) in Brazil, and we are EXCITED (specifically Hoven & Darby, Klew is humoring us). Here are our dreams and predictions, indecipherable from one another.
KLEWS CONTRIBUTIONS:
Before we get started with this, I will say this;
You say to me "World Cup" I think of one thing, and one thing only
So no, I really don't have anything of substance to contribute to this otherwise wonderfully entertaining blog post. I'm going to read it myself so I can hope to LEARN something about the Soccer World Cup (yes, I refuse to call it the "real world cup" because do you see the above gif? Apparently this town IS big enough for the both of 'em.) I digress. IM GOING TO TRY TO LEARN ABOUT THIS AND INVEST IN IT BECAUSE MY FRIENDS THINK IT'S COOL, BUT I WILL FOREVER LOVE THE WORLD CUP SHOOTING STARS THE MOST.
Carry on.
GROUP A
Brazil: I feel for you, Brazil. FIFA has been brutal to you. You once dominated the game, but Ronaldinho and Kaka seem distant now. You deserve to get out of group stages, as well as so much more. Let's hope for as much attention to your struggles as to your football.
Croatia: Dobar dan! Welcome to my people, and my one semester of Croatian as a freshman. You might be asking, Kathryn, where even is Croatia? Across the Adriatic from Italy, moj prijatelj! Beyoncé vacations on the Croatian coast, and they film Game of Thrones there, too (can you spy King's Landing below?). Our jerseys are awesome, we like to use flares, and we might make it out of here if Mexico under performs. We have actual great players too, the most well known is Luka Modrić, who always looks lost, but is a genius (and plays for Real Madrid-not too shabby). My fingers are crossed, and I'm definitely wearing my Croatia jersey to work. So eat povitica, drink Pilsner beers, and cheer for my probable cousins. Croatia plays Brazil in the opening game of the World Cup. Volim te, Hrvatska.
Mexico: Dear Mexico, limes had been extremely expensive due to your cartels, which really messed with my whole gin & tonic beginning of summer routine. You get knocked out.
Cameroon: Have very little to offer on the Cameroon national team, I can't remember them making it past group stages in recent contests? I could be horribly wrong, but out you go, Cameroon.
Group Winner Predictions: We are going to go Brazil, in moral support, and Croatia because there's a high probability at least one of them/all of them are related to me. It's not a big country.
GROUP B
Spain: Spain has been my team the past few years, and I love this team very much. I would marry 75% of them. Sergio Ramos, Iker Casillas, Xabi Alonso, David Silva, Gerard Pique- there is a reason this is the best team in the world. In the past four years they've won the World Cup and the UEFA Cup. Plus Darby just studied abroad there. VIVA ESPAÑA!
Netherlands: I have never cared for the way the Dutch play, and orange is not my color. We aren't even sure if I'm Dutch or not, so I am sorry, Robin Van Persie, I like you a lot, but no.
Chile: Know almost nothing about the Chilean team, but buena suerte to all South American teams.
Australia: Australians were so friendly when I went there in high school, and my best friend when I lived in Singapore was half Australian. Also the team is called the Socceroos, which is so close to dunkaroos, so I'm in.
GROUP C
Colombia: SHAKIRA SHAKIRA. Also she is married to Gerard Pique of Spain. Shakira is queen of the world, as far as I'm concerned. Buena suerte, Colombia.
Greece: Classical Antiquities minor here. Greece is cool, and could probably use some good national news.
Cote D'Ivoire: I have never cared for Didier Drogba, but this team will be good.
Japan: Another nation I would love some good news from, but the rumbles of resumed whaling despite UN sanctions is a big fat no from me.
GROUP D
Uruguay: Can be surprising! Still going to go with the Italians though.
Costa Rica: It's beautiful, it's not making it out of this group.
England: I cheer because I know most of you from EPL, but I won't hold my breath because you will probably choke, my British friends. Plus my best friend is in grad school in Durham and I don't want her poor boyfriend's heart to shatter.
Italy: flop flop flop flop flop but Italian food is the best so decisions are tough.
GROUP E
Switzerland: nope.
Ecuador: Sure, why not.
France: If I hear "the French play with such elegance!" more than twice, I will revolt.
Honduras: Doubt it.
GROUP F
Argentina: Always do better than you might think, also Lionel Messi. Klew will like them because their uniforms are a pretty light blue, not unlike Cinderella.
Bosnia and Herzegovina: Eh.
Iran: Eh.
Nigeria: Why not?
GROUP G
Germany: I am mostly Croatian, but next mostly German (we think- kinda hard to figure out dad's half of the family) ANYWAY I LOVE THE GERMAN TEAM. They are efficient, they are serious, they are terrifying. I miss Michael Ballack a lot, but I love this team with Bastian Schweinsteiger, Mesut Özil, Lukas Podolski, Sami Khedira- as much as I love the Spaniards, I think I might be rooting for Germany to go all the way this year.
Portugal: Listen you guys. I'm going to be really real and show you my high school Latin binder cover, which says all you need to know about how I feel about Portugal and Cristiano Ronaldo. Força.
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| I walked around with this DAILY. And everyone was cool with it? Thanks, Mendham. |
Ghana: STOP BEATING THE US.
United States: I like this team, I love Jurgen Klinsmann, but we are young and inexperienced. And this constantly in the Group of Death nonsense has got to go, FIFA. I love that we are willing to shake things up (bye, Landon Donovan) and I love that we have a homegrown KC boy on the team. But who knows, maybe this is the next Miracle. I would watch that movie. Also, Kyle Beckerman has me believing in dreadlocks, so anything can happen. USA USA USA!
GROUP H
Let's be real, this group is meaningless and you've stopped reading.
Belgium: no
Algeria: no
Russia: nyet
Korea Republic: no in Korean.
Agree? Disagree? Share with me. HAPPY WORLD CUP, MIS AMIGOS!
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