Today.

Today is a hard day. I know it's been a while since I've been around, and this is a dark way to return to the sparkly hallowed halls of of Get a Klew, but to not write today wouldn't be right.

I should preface by saying I'm from north Jersey. We could see the smoke from the higher hills in my area. Plenty of our parents then, and us now, worked in the city. It's only forty miles away. I didn't know what a World Trade Center was when I was ten. I just knew the Twin Towers we always spotted on the skyline. The ones we took photos in front of on the ferry. I was in 5th grade. My mother picked us up almost immediately. We had lived in Singapore for a while a few years before, and she knew what the outside world thought of America. She did not think it was over.

The day has always stuck with me. There were a few from my community we lost entirely, more who lost jobs and livelihoods in the fallout. There were none of us entirely unscathed.

I ended up writing my English thesis in college on children in 9/11 literature, inspired jointly by Jonathan Safran Foer's Extrememly Loud & Incredibly Close which had been recommended to me by my senior year English teacher in high school, and my mother's own method of reaching out to me in the aftermath of that day. Naturally, she bought me a book. Joyce Maynard's The Usual Rules was about a thirteen year old girl who lost her mother September 11th. My mother and I never talked about that day, we just went to the church services and memorials, we cooked for grieving families, and she spoke to me through a book. That was enough. There weren't words for it then, anyway.

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close reopened and salved old hurts seven years later, and has not left me. My copy is underlined and written in and beloved. The story weaves the thoughts of nine-year-old Oskar Schell, who lost his father that morning, with narratives from his grandparents who survived the Dresden bombings of World War II. When I first read the novel, this section from Oskar seemed to capture how it felt to be a kid, swallowing that day.

We need much bigger pockets, I thought as I lay in bed, counting off the seven minutes that it takes a normal person to fall asleep. We need enormous pockets, pockets big enough for our families, and our friends, and even the people who aren't on our lists, people we've never met but still want to protect. We need pockets for boroughs and for cities, a pocket that could hold the universe.

Now, thirteen years later, with the world still not snuggled safely in a pocket, scary as ever, I think of this later passage from Oskar's grandmother remembering her sister, lost in Dresden, and it's the lesson I still try to learn from this day and all the others.

I had never told her how much I loved her.

She was my sister.

We slept in the same bed.

There was never a right time to say it.

It was always unnecessary.

The books in my father's shed were sighing.

The sheets were rising and falling around me with Anna's breathing.

I thought about waking her.

But it was unnecessary.

There would be other nights.

And how can you say I love you to someone you love?

I rolled onto my side and fell asleep next to her.

Here is the point of everything I have been trying to tell you, Oskar.

It's always necessary.

I love you.

Whether you're reading this or not, or if we've met or not, today or any other, know I'd put you in my pocket, and I love you too. It's the best we can do.

Gimme A Doggie Bag, I'm Takin' it Home!

Sunday was probably my second favorite day of our trip (because Thursday already took the cake as one of the greatest days of my life).

We woke up at our own leisure and just spent the morning killing time until it was time to meet Kerry, Kyle, Shannon, Kyle and Annie at 5 Napkin Burger for lunch. We had pizza and smoothies for breakfast because we make the rules, and we ate on the stoop of a cute apartment. We were all about feeling like we lived there lol. We tried to use the CitiBikes but we kind of failed miserably.

We also got to go to Schmackary's. It's a cookie place that literally shared a building with the restaurant where we were supposed to have lunch. It is adorable, and the cookies are DELICIOUS. I had a smores cookie. I was the happiest camper because you know how much I love cookies. Also fun fact about Schmackary's: you can go on their website and send cookies to broadway shows. They have a lot of ties with the Broadway community and all of the actors have "favorite cookies." They also team up with Broadway Cares Equity Fights AIDS to raise money and the stars of various shows will come in and work in the shop to raise money. It was cool to see a place that I hear so many people talk about! Also I love cookies so....

We had Lunch at 5 Napkin Burger in Hell's Kitchen. I thought it was absolutely delicious. We met Kyle, Kerry, Shannon and Annie too. It was awesome to be able to spend the day with them. We finished up with lunch and headed over to the New Amsterdam Theater to see the matinee of Aladdin on Broadway. 

You guys, IT WAS THE MOST AMAZING THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I can't say enough good things about this show. I always love to see musicals that are based on movies I love. It's cool seeing characters come to life and feel like you're transported into the movie, but this was unlike anything I've ever seen. Especially since I grew up watching movies like The Little Mermaid and Aladdin with Kerry and Ky, and I got to sit and watch the musical with them. It was a little bit different than the movie, but in the best way. We were all in AWE the entire time. The actors were so insanely talented and the production value was AMAZING. Have I said the word amazing too many times yet? 

There were more than 300 costumes in the production. The number "Prince Ali" ALONE had 80 different costumes. Different groups of people just KEPT ON MARCHING out onto the stage, and after like three or four groups I realized it was the same 15 people changing their costumes! Each costume was made with beautiful rich fabrics and TONS of sparkles. During "A Whole New World" the entire stage is covered with sparkling stars. The entire thing was a visual TREAT. 

The cave of wonders literally rose out of the sand. The carpet flies freely across the stage. I have no idea how they did it, but it was magical. I had goosebumps practically the entire time, and tears in my eyes more than once. 

We got to see James Monroe Iglehart as the Genie, a role he recently won a TONY award for. MAN OH MAN DID HE DESERVE IT. He was INCREDIBLE. He stole the show for sure. "Friend Like Me" is like 10 minutes long and he DOESN'T. STOP. MOVING. for the entire number. I watched the entire thing with tears in my eyes because it was so filled with joy. I never wanted it to stop. How lucky he must feel to be able to bring that much happiness to people every single day. I heard my aunt audibly gasp when tap dancers came out, and there was a 5 minute long standing ovation at the end of the number. I have never heard an audience cheer that loud in a Broadway show. It was delightful.  

I never wanted it to end. RUN don't walk to see this show. 

After the show was over we stuck around and met some of the actors outside the stage door. That. Was. Awesome. Courtney Reed (Jasmine) told me she liked my phone case. Lauren got a selfie with James Monroe Iglehart (Genie). The entire thing was just so cool. 

After Aladdin we had tickets to see Assssscat3000, but we skipped it. I was kind of bummed, but we still hadn't seen Central Park. I decided it was more important for Jesse and Lauren to see Central Park, and they agreed. We walked down 5th avenue on a high from that amazing production and watched the sunset in Central Park. It was like a dream. Also I felt very Mindy as we were walking through Central Park, because that place is like land of the romantic comedy. 

We finished off our evening at the Library Bar in the NoMad hotel. It was a bar that Jimmy Fallon once spoke of on his show, so naturally we wanted to try it. It had sort of a speakeasy vibe and had really cool gourmet drinks. It was the perfect end to a perfect trip. 

I'm so lucky I was able to take this trip, and I will remember it for the rest of my life. So much amazing culture and food and people. My heart is full.

Our Day Trip to Sayville

Of course, we took a day trip to my hometown of Sayville, NY. I think we kind of needed the relaxation after we walked SO MUCH yesterday. We took the train to Sayville in the morning and stayed all day long.

We went sailing with Jay and Deb. It was really fun to see them and to try to go out on the water. I got a little bit seasick because it was SO WINDY on the water. We had to come back in early because of how windy it was. We spent the rest of the day chilling in their new hot tub and walking around downtown Sayville. Of course we made a visit to Sayville Chocolatier

Jay and Deb fed us some authentic NY Pizza because Lauren still hadn't had any at that point and we got back on the train to get back to the city in time for our show. 

We saw A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder tonight. It won the 2014 Tony Award for Best Musical, and I can definitely see why. It was very well-written and the actors were INSANELY talented. It's the story of  a guy named Monty, who realizes after his mother has died that he's the heir to a large fortune, with 8 people ahead of him. He spends the entire show trying to kill all 8 of them off, and all 8 family members are played by the same guy. The part of the family members is usually played by Jefferson Mays, but we saw his understudy. It wasn't really my cup of tea, but I still love any chance I get to see a Broadway production. It was one of those ones where they sing a LOT of their lines and in thick British accents so you had to pay really close attention to what they were saying or you could miss major plot points. Plus I had a girl sitting in front of me who was like laying on the balcony railing and I couldn't really see that well behind her. Whatever. 

I think Bryce Pinkham, the actor who plays the lead role Monty, looks kind of like Jack Wellner from where we were sitting. That was entertaining.

After the show we went out for a drink at a bar called 230 Fifth. It's called that because the address is 230 Fifth Ave. Clever, I know, but the view is STUNNING. You can clearly see the Empire State Building right in front of your face, which I think is so cool. We had a drink there and then went to meet up with my cousin Kyle and his friends at a bar called the Windsor. I think it was in SoHo? I'm not sure. I just told the cab driver to take us to the address. 

The Windsor was kind of like a NYC Hawk, so we felt right at home. 

The Best Day of Klew's life

Okay so, if you know anything about me you know I love to ask people about their favorite things (as does Hoven. I think that's why we started to become friends). Also, you know I have some pretty solid things that are my "favorites:"

• Cheerleading
• The Color Blue
• Broadway Musicals
• Disney Princesses, especially Cinderella
• Cinderella on Broadway
• Jimmy Fallon
• Pizza
• Sweets
• New York City 

Today I got to do basically every single one of my favorite things in one day. 

We woke up and had NYC bagels in Times Square for breakfast. We sat in the middle of Times Square and enjoyed a perfectly authentic Bagel with schmear. It was also delightfully empty in Times Square that morning so that rocked. Usually that place is a pain in the ass because it's the capital of "oh, let's just stop walking in the middle of the sidewalk and pose for a photo with our iPad" and I have NO PATIENCE for that. 

We walked around Midtown and I got to see all of the Broadway Theaters. I love walking past them and seeing them RIGHT THERE. I think that's so cool. 

I took this picture of the Jersey Boys theater to send to Dan. He loves Jersey Boys.

For lunch we ate at Pronto Pizza, which is my favorite pizza place in the city. I burned my tongue but who cares. Nothing could get me down on the best day of my life. We hung out in Bryant Park (which is my favorite park in NYC. I like it even better than Central Park. Yeah. I said it.) and there was a free concert of Broadway musicals in the middle of the park. We got to watch the casts of Matilda and Motown sing songs from their shows, as well as a preview of On The Town, which is a new one that's coming soon. I think that one is going to be really cool. 

Broadway in Bryant Park

After we did the Bryant Park thing it was time for Jimmy Fallon. We headed over to the NBC Experience Store at 30 Rock to check in with our tickets. We waited in line for about 30 minutes and were given wristbands and tickets with a letter E on the back. They told us to come back to another location in 30 rock at 3:50. We spent the hour or so we had to kill eating cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery, my favorite cupcake ever. We came back to the designated area and they lined us up in alphabetical order. It seemed to me that each group of people gets its own letter, because we were the only ones with "E." They filed us all into the studio and we sat IN THE VERY FRONT ROW. I'm not kidding you. It was really just dumb luck, but we could've reached out and touched Tariq from The Roots. The Roots came out and played for us for a little bit before the show started, and then Jimmy came out. The three of us were all grinning like idiots. You can probably see it on the TV. Jimmy waved at us and did his monologue literally 10 feet from us. I'm not kidding. He was so close. It was amazing. 

It was kind of the lamest Jimmy Fallon episode ever (he didn't play any games and there wasn't a musical guest), but we didn't care. It was awesome to just watch how the show is made. It was like being in a dream because everything looks exactly like it does when you watch it on TV. At the end of the show Jimmy runs up and down the aisles of the audience. We were the very first ones so not only are we on TV, we got to high five him as he ran by. It was amazing. Like I said, we were grinning like idiots. 

Here's the screenshot from Hulu. 

After Jimmy was over we marched our happy asses right over to The Broadway Theater for Rodgers & Hammerstein's Cinderella. Hoven met us, and we had AWESOME seats. It was my second time seeing the show, but nobody else had seen it. I was stoked to see a different princess than I had originally seen. We saw Paige Faure as Cinderella and she did not dissappoint. I mean, I think Laura Osnes will always have a commanding hold on that role, but I loved Paige too. It was cool to see how two different women portray the same character, and they both put different spins on it. The music was beautiful as always, and the costume changes still blow my mind. Cinderella was delightful, and it will always have a special place in my heart. It will always fill me with joy. I felt really lucky to sit there and watch it, and to get to share it with some of my dearest friends. 

Finally, we had dessert at Serendipity3, one of my favorites in the City. It was a perfect ending to a perfect day. I had a zillion second long snap story. So basically I woke up, had NYC pizza for lunch, hung out in Bryant Park, saw/touched Jimmy Fallon, ate a Magnolia Bakery cupcake, saw Cinderella and ate my favorite dessert. It was perfect. 

I just don't see how you're gonna top this day, dudes. I just don't see.

"...and I like it so well that for all I can tell I may never come down again."

"Bizarre & Improbable & Pretty As a Page from a Fairytale Book....."

Fair warning, this post is so nerdy.

In case I haven't mentioned it about 500 times already, I'm unemployed. Yeah, I'm "actively looking for a job" blah blah blah, but unemployment leads to quite a bit of boredom. One of my favorite things to do in the midst of all this boredom is to learn as much as I can about various Broadway productions. I just think it is all SO INTERESTING, and there is so much you can learn and so many different types of things you can enjoy. I have a bunch of favorites (hey, maybe that can be an upcoming list), but there is one that tops all the rest...

Cinderella.

You guys, I'm obsessed. I just love watching the clips of it and looking at pictures of it, and listening to its music. Cinderella has just been so near and dear to my heart for my entire life. I grew up watching all different versions of it and singing the songs and being in awe at her, and for the longest time I've always said "God I wish they would make a Broadway production of the Rodgers & Hammerstein version of the story." It had always blown my mind that they hadn't. Well in December of 2012 Katie Wells stumbled across the news that it was a real thing. I remember legitimately falling out of my chair I was so excited. I started relentlessly begging my mom to take me to New York to see it.

Then came the Tony Awards.

I recorded them because I wasn't going to be home to watch it live, and I knew Cinderella was going to be one of the performances. It was a medley of a bunch of the songs including the one where the Fairy Godmother turns her into a princess and the one where she dances with the prince. She transformed ON STAGE RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES from her rag dress to a gown.

You guys, I watched the entire thing with my mouth hanging open in awe and tears in my eyes. It was the most magical, beautiful, wonderful thing I had ever seen and it made my heart so happy. I then rewound it and watched probably 900 more times. Coincidentally for me, this was right around the time of my college graduation, for which I would be given a gift from my parents....you guessed it....they bought me a trip to New York and tickets to see Cinderella on Broadway.

It was fantastic. I will love it forever and ever and ever. It will always be one of my favorite stories ever, and this version is a little bit different than the one everyone knows. They have updated it a little bit and made it for a modern audience. The songs are all the same, and there are a few new ones. The costume changes are phenomenal and oh my lanta, I just loved the entire thing. The fact that it's about being nice to people no matter what and that you can make things happen for yourself and just ah. I could talk forever. 

I especially love Laura Osnes, who plays the title role. I had no idea who she was until I saw her in June as Cinderella, and she is PERFECT at it. She has the most beautiful voice and she is just PERFECT at it. So naturally, when I got home and in all of my extra time I have had on my hands, I have thoroughly stalked her on the internet. Like I could probably make a creepy fan page about it because I'm so fascinated with her.  She is INCREDIBLY talented and she's just so pretty and oh my lanta. I just love her. Katie Martin and I are both obsessed with her and we just share videos of her back and forth on Facebook. Go look her up if you have a chance. She'll make you wish you could sing. She was in a production of Bonnie & Clyde and she sings this song and OMG she's just incredible.

 Laura has a video blog that she did that's on Youtube called "The Princess Diary" and it goes behind the scenes of the show and you can see all the fun things they do with Cinderella. It is so interesting and actually pretty funny. Probably go watch it. So ya. I'm weirdly obsessed with the Broadway Production of Cinderella. I would see it a million more times if I could, and I can't get enough of Laura Osnes or the music or the videos or anything.

And now I've provided you with enough information to go stalk her yourself and try and become half as obsessed with her/it as we are. Ah. I could go for days. I just love it so much. 

"In the arms of my love, I'm flying. over mountain and meadow and glen. and I like it so well that for all I can tell I may never come down to earth again."

Told you that was going to be so nerdy, but I don't even care. Everybody has that one weird thing they're obsessed with. This is mine.

Bieber Fever.

Yesterday was QUITE an interesting day at work. I was on the train hoping for a quick little day so I could get home and watch Mackenzie, Kelsey, and Lindsey Fuller TEAR IT UP on Expedition Impossible. Everyone needs to watch them! Team Kansas! They came in 4th last night! It was so funny to see them on TV. Also to make sure that Ricky Jaime stayed safe on SYTYCD. I got to do a phone interview with him on Wednesday and i LOVE LOVE LOVE him. He was SO NICE...he was on Brandon Sr. White and at Worlds the same years as me! Hes such a cheer nerd just like me and he's officially my favorite on SYTYCD. Also he keeps tweeting me which i LOVE. Read my article about him!

READ MY RICKY JAIME STORY!

but anyways....I got to work and we found out that Justin Bieber was going to be at Macy's promoting the release of his new Perfume, Someday. All of the editors were busy getting ready to head to LA this morning for their next big photoshoot...so they sent me and Jillian (the other intern) to Macy's to see what we could find. We didn't have our names on the list to get up to the actual event or anything, so we just wandered around Macy's and talked to fans about the event. We also got to try out the perfume and  I have to say, not bad Biebs!

Let me tell you that "Trying to Meet Justin Bieber" should be an Olympic Event. It requires stamina and endurance. People camped out in front of Macy's Herald Square for THREE DAYS for the OPPORTUNITY to MAYBE be able to get a VIP pass....and by "get" a VIP pass i mean "pay 150 dollars" for a VIP pass.

What does the VIP pass get you, you ask?
1. The opportunity to go up to the 8th floor of Macy's while Justin is there.
2. .....

..that's all you get. It didn't even guarantee you got to MEET HIM. you just got to BE IN THE SAME ROOM AS HIM and MAYBE get to take a picture of him from afar.....

Yet Macy's was PACKED with teenage girls wandering around. All of them CONVINCED that Bieber was accidently going to wander into the middle of Macy's so they could get their hands on him. There were girls who were practically BATHING in the free samples of perfume that were around the store. They were like lathering it on their bodies like their lives depended on it. There were girls with I LOVE JUSTIN sharpied across their forehead (i'm not kidding.)

Most people know that I don't exactly have Bieber Fever, and that I also enjoy observing the "gems of America" (aka why I love shows like Toddlers & Tiaras and 19 Kids and counting so much) so this experience was TOO MUCH for me to handle. We interviewed a few groups of superfans and I should have won an Oscar for being able to keep my composure. It was like that episode of Friends where Chandler can't make any jokes and the opportunity to make like 8956983246 great jokes present themselves and he goes CRAZY...it was like that. It was all I could do to get my interview questions out for the girls who were CRYING because Justin Bieber has changed their lives. It was ridiculous.

So after a few solid hours of walking around Macy's trying to figure out how we could get up to the 8th floor to see him (we failed) we decided to call it a day. Only after one of the Macy's sales associates told us that Bieber was leaving at 4:30 to go to the Premiere of Monte Carlo, Selena Gomez's new movie.

So Jillian and I headed back to the office to see what we could do about getting ourselves Press Passes to the premiere. We emailed some people and eventually got a reply from one of the FOX people, and they put us on the list! Woo woo! We were going to our first Movie Premiere!

So since this was all so last minute we were pretty underprepared. We had my digital camera, a  FlipCam , and our cell phones to record stuff. We took the subway to the theater...We showed up at the theater and there were all these camera crews and reporters with like, HUGE AMOUNTS of equipment. We knew that they were all laughing at us...2 little blondes with cheerleader tshirts and glittery shoes and a little backpack full of stupid electronics...but whatever. While we waited to be told where to go We made friends with a New York City fireman who was laughing at us for being from Kansas and North Carolina, and another Intern who was from Mineola! (my hometown!)

So then they lined all of the press people up on the red carpet. How it works is you contact FOX and tell them you want to cover their event and they save you a place. So they have spots marked off for all the press people depending on what company you're from...They line all the TV people up first, then all of the Radio and magazine people. Jillian and I were the very last ones on the line, until this idiot from some stupid news channel showed up like 20 minutes late and tried to squeeze her way next to us....there was a lot of down time before the stars go there and while we were pal-ing around with the girls from "Zach Sang and the Student Body" she spent the whole time yelling at the camera guy to get a good angle of her and to hold the camera steady, and practicing her diction or something. it was so ridiculous. she thought she was so cool.

So anyways. We had ONE QUESTION we had to ask ONE PERSON...we had to ask Selena Gomez whether or not she was ever a cheerleader. That's all we had to do! And its super easy because no matter how much of a hurry she's in, it's just a yes or no question! So the rest of it was all fluff. And it was really hard for me and Jillian to stay cool. We were so startstruck. But it was okay because so were the Zach Sang girls haha they were so fun.

So first on the red carpet was Andie MacDowell. We didn't really have any questions to ask her, but her daughters had on AWESOME dresses so we chatted with them while she answered interview questions....

But while Andie was walking the red carpet, Bieber showed up to support Selena. I knew it was him because wherever Bieber goes he has a swarm of screaming girls not far behind. Like, any time any part of Justin Bieber is visible to the public eye, there is SOMEONE screaming about it. He's like eeyore with the permanent cloud except Justin Bieber has a permanent cloud of screaming girls. But it all happened so fast! He jumped out of the car and practically RAN into the theater. Obviously, it's SELENA's time to shine, not his! Jillian managed to get an AWESOME video of him though. And I was able to take a picture.

After that Stephen Baldwin came out (he hit a ray...for all those cheer nerds out there) and then Katie Cassidy. Both were very nice, they said hi to us but that's really all because we didn't have anything to ask them.

So then Selena came out to the carpet. She was SO PRETTY! She had on a beautiful blue gown and yeah. She looks just like Sarah Zoretic! haha.

So Selena walked down the red carpet and as she got right by us her publicist lady put her arm right after me and Jillian and was like OKAY THESE TWO ARE THE LAST QUESTION....
....WE WERE GOING TO GET TO TALK TO SELENA GOMEZ.

so we got our one question ready and our recording device and all that. She turned to look at us and goes "Hi how are you guys!?"

...THE DUMB REPORTER CUT IN FRONT OF US AND STOLE OUR QUESTION.
are you kidding. we were so pissed. But still, Selena said Hi to us, and we got to write down her anwers to all the questions that the Zach Sang girls asked her. And we saw Bieber after all of that hunting at Macys! So it wasn't a total loss.

We're going to see the movie on Wednesday afternoon! I'm so excited

So that was my day at work. It was extremely interesting and SO MUCH FUN. I can't believe this is what I'm spending my summer doing!

Okay. That's all. I'm going to pick up Clarkson at the airport! Stay tuned to hear about Lewis and Clark adventures in New York City!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


-klew

PS. follow @cheerleadermag on twitter. It's me and Jillian most of the time tweeting about our adventures

60 blocks.

So I started my first week off here pretty well. I got to see Daniel Radcliffe in a Broadway show, I ate a ton of great pizza, and did some shopping with ML...I was off to a pretty good start until my second day of work.....we had to run an errand and we had the address...so we decided we would walk....as you can see from the map I have provided...that was AN AWFUL IDEA. It was literally 100 degrees outside and I walked 40 some blocks in long pants and a black top...I wasn't expecting to walk that day so I had on a pair of crappy sandals...and to top it all off we got LOST. so we were wandering around Times Square looking for a place that was on 5th avenue......epic failure. 

Later that day I was supposed to Meet Kerry & Kyle & Kyle for dinner. Ky got a lengthy dinner break so we decided it would be a great idea. And it was great to have dinner with them...but I got out of work at 5 and had nothing to do until Kerry and Kyle got out at 7...so I wandered around the city...I probably walked about three miles while I was killing time.

At the end of the day I calculated...I probably walked about 10 miles the entire day. Combined with the fact that I have arthritis and recently flew on a plane...i ABSOLUTELY paid for this day....

I spent my entire first weekend here stuck in bed with huge ice packs wrapped around my legs. My arthritis FREAKED OUT from all the walking and the new environment and the stress and everything and my hip joins, jaw joints, knees, and back all swelled to 20983473209 times their size. it was absolutely awful. Luckily I had taken the train to Wyckoff for my grandma's birthday so she and my aunt were there to take care of my pathetic ass. I didn't want to be a total buzz kill though...so i got pushed around the mall in a wheelchair....sweet life.

After 3 days in bed watching TV and riding around in a wheelchair, it all sorted itself out. It was awful...but it's okay now.

So pathetic.